Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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