READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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