i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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