I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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