so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
