..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
