And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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