He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
