I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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