I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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