Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
