i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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