It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
