like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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