you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
