My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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