piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
