he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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