Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
