you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
