I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
