I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
