...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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