You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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