I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Who died my cat blue again?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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