OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
