hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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