He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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