Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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