you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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