This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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