Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize