i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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