Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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