I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
