Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize