There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
