So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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