i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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