So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
