I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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