what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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