I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
