real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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