is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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