She is in my trunk
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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