I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
