he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
