Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.

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  (909): College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe. http://tfl.nu/4iki
  Replies (50) Good night (11206) Bad night (1149)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5708) Bad night (898)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4355) Bad night (1584)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."

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  (318): He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds." http://tfl.nu/nj0z
  Replies (4) Good night (2935) Bad night (907)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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  (786): You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager. http://tfl.nu/4g1t
  Replies (3) Good night (2973) Bad night (1206)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3343) Bad night (1671)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident

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  (712): slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident http://tfl.nu/zocq
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (1470)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

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  (314): I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from. http://tfl.nu/x0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (1605) Bad night (771)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
  Replies (7) Good night (2501) Bad night (1340)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

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  (870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (331)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep

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  (425): So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep http://tfl.nu/ykqe
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (328)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok

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  (518): Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok http://tfl.nu/yj83
  Replies (4) Good night (233) Bad night (337)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day

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  (613): Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day http://tfl.nu/f9jn
  Replies (0) Good night (229) Bad night (536)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you

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  (702): tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you http://tfl.nu/hzfn
  Replies (5) Good night (265) Bad night (428)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.

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  (202): He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver. http://tfl.nu/ieko
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (135)

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