yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.