omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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