She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.