Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
