I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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