i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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