chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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