I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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