It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
