had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
