i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
