Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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