I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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