what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
