You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize