so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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