I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
