Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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