every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize