I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I see more hoeing in ur future
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