I skipped work to stalk him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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