i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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