too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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